The First Pride Month Post! My own “Coming Out” Story

Posted June 3, 2016 by Bee in Personal, Special Events / 35 Comments

Pride Month

For my first Pride Month-post, I thought I’d share you my own story. So, yeah. HI! My name is Bee, but you knew that already. I’m Bisexual. And this is my completely uninteresting and kind of boring story of how I discovered this and how I “came out”.

My first crush was on a boy. My first “relationship” was with a boy. Most of my relationships have been boys. And for the longest time, I thought I was straight. But then I started my third year of high school in a new school and I met my first female friend, among a couple male ones. I was very new to the whole friend-business, so I was super awkward and shy around all of them. I still am awkward and shy around people. At first. And then I get used to them and I become my nerdy and weird self. ANYWAY.

Caroline, that was her name. She had a no-bullshit attitude towards the stupid bullies that tormented me and didn’t care about being targeted by them if she hung out with me. She was funny and kind of weird like me. And we did normal friend stuff. One day we went to see a movie together and in the theatre I asked if I could hold her hand. Because I wanted to. For some reason. I wanted to touch her. I wanted to kiss her. This was very weird to me because hey, I’d just broken up with a boy not too long ago. You can’t love both boys AND girls at the same time, right? At least that’s what my cousin said, who’s big sister came out as gay long before that. So yeah, that night I was very confused. Because I got the whole nest-of-ants-crawling-in-my-stomach thing going on when I held her hand. That same thing I got when I was in love with that guy.

After that night, Caroline told me that it was weird to hold hands like that and she didn’t want to do that with me. She didn’t like girls that way. But as it turned out, I did and I had a major crush on her. We kind of grew apart after that. I’m not sure if it was because of that or not. It might have been. She kinda disappeared from my life.

I had a few more crushes on girls AND boys after that. I dated two girls briefly after that. But they were mostly long-distance and never lasted long because of that. The girls in my immediate area were kind of mean. And I didn’t like them at all. I also had a brief crush on my current best friend in the world Stephanie. Don’t worry, I told her and we’re totally cool. I’m over it now. Hah.

I never really came out in the traditional way though. Mostly because I didn’t have any true friends that actually cared about my sexual orientation. I did tell my mom, who was very awesome about it. She said it didn’t matter who I loved as long as I was happy. And the people I met afterwards also just accepted it. I’m kind of proud to live in the country that was the second to legalize gay marriage after The Netherlands in the early 2000’s. It’s one of the things Belgium did right. Next to waffles and chocolate, of course.

In the end, my being bisexual doesn’t really change anything. I just have crushes and fall in love with both boys and girls. Do I have a preference? Ehhm, I might lean more towards girls. (Cause they’re less hairy, but that’s not the only reason.) Most days anyway. (I definitely prefer kissing girls over boys. For multiple reasons.) So unlike my cousin thought, it’s totally possible to love both. Though, thinking about it… maybe it did make me more open-minded than I already was. And it made me pick up LGBT books. We all know how that ended. (This is a good time to mention that you should (re)read Simon VS this month to celebrate Pride Month. Because it’s amazing. And I love it. Like a lot.)

Anyway. That’s my story. It’s all over the place and kind of random, but then again, so am I. So there you go. I’m a weird, awkward, probably-not-funny, book-loving, disney-loving nerd that loves boys and girls.

I’m going to end this post with a few words of wisdom from yours truly:

Normal is way overrated, so just be your weird and awesome self. There are so many people out there that will love you for who you are. And if your life is hard at this moment and you’re reading this, know that I’m here if you need someone to talk to. Get in touch with me on Twitter, Facebook, e-mail, whatever. I’M HERE FOR YOU.

Happy Pride Month everyone. Thanks for reading all of my rambling and know that I love each and every one of you.



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35 responses to “The First Pride Month Post! My own “Coming Out” Story

  1. Oooh, see, when you said “I had a crush on my first [girl] friend”, I just assumed you were referring to Steph. I should have asked.

    This is such a woooooonderful story, though! You don’t even need to stick to M/M fiction when it comes to storytelling – you can write something wholly autobiographical, and it would me every bit as inspirational. I already knew about your awesome mom, of course, and about the general premise, but it’s still so fascinating to hear the details. I have days when I just Google and binge coming-out stories, for no other reason than to witness the incredible progress society has made – and to acknowledge the gaping whole of prejudice yet to be bridged. I’m so, so glad you were born in Belgium, too, though! And I can only hope we all follow your example.

    :* :* :*

  2. Awww I LOVE this post Bee, thank you so much for sharing with us β™₯ I’m sure it was scary though so pat yourself on the back for being so brave! I’ve never understood people who get worked up about who someone loves. There are SO MANY awful things in the world, but love certainly isn’t one of them. Love should be celebrated no matter what. Oh and weird people are THE BEST. Weird is a side effect of being awesome πŸ˜€

  3. BEE!!! First of all, soooooo much credit on writing this post!! I can imagine it wasn’t easy. I’m so proud of you!! <3 Secondly, I'm so impressed with your mother and way she handled the situation. Sounds like you really have a wonderful one there. πŸ™‚ Maybe it's just me, but my opinion on bi-sexual people has always been a bit impressed. I feel like bi-sexual people truly meet and fall in love with the PERSON first, and that's so special. It doesn't matter the gender, just the person as a whole. That's so admirable.

    Okay, I'll stop rambling on now. LOL Love your post so much, Bee!! Congrats on posting your "coming out" post! Your courage is so encouraging. Keep it up, girlie!! πŸ™‚

  4. Oh, this is so awesome and inspirational and thank you for sharing your story <3 I'm so happy for you! Figuring out your sexuality is a big, scary, and sometimes confusing state to be in. Before I even learned about the spectrum of asexuality, I always considered myself a robot. Thanks again for this inspiration!

  5. Great post. Thanks for sharing your story. Your mom sounds awesome. I’ve never understood why people get so worked up over who other people love. What difference does it make if they are two different religions or two different races, different genders or the same genders. As long as they lover each other. There are enough relationships that don’t have love in them, why should we turn our backs on the ones that do. Once again, wonderful post.

  6. Bee, this post is AMAZING! I am just smiling so hard, because I love that you are just being YOU, and that you shared this with us! Seriously, I bet there are a LOT of people being inspired by this right now. And your mom! I am so happy that you have someone so supportive in your life. β™₯β™₯β™₯

  7. Suze

    Great, open post! Why label or limit yourself when all that matters is being happy and loved anyway right? And I like your remark about being normal, so true. I’m glad gay marriage has been legal for some time now in my country (I’m Dutch) and hope every country in the world will follow.

  8. dex

    hey, i’m really happy to see this post on my feed! i didn’t even know it was pride month. i always get a little sappy when i read other peoples’ coming out stories. do you think it would be okay if i posted my coming out story on my blog and linked back to you, to mention that you sort of inspired me to post my own?

  9. I have always thought that bi-sexual people are the ones who truly fall in love with a person, not a person and that person’s gender! So YAY you, Bee, it must have been a bit scary sharing something so very personal about yourself here on your blog πŸ™‚
    I agree, that who we fall in love with cannot be helped, and as long as people are happy with their loved ones, that’s the most important thing. Also, weird people are a lot more interesting than non-weird people. That’s just my opinion though, but I love weird πŸ˜€

  10. Thank you so much for sharing your story, Bee! I think it’s so cool that your country has legalized marriage– I wish so strongly that mine did. In high school, I attended an all girls institution and that’s really what opened me to the idea of girls falling in love with girls. I had bisexual, lesbian and straight friends. So I completely agree that these labels don’t change anything. Who you truly are is the heart that’s inside of you, so you just keep letting that shine, girl. <3

  11. Pfft, you have nothing to be nervous about (other than prejudice and bigotry, but who’s counting?). So you like guys and girls. I happen to like guys and cake. (Haha, totally didn’t sound like Cait there!)

    No, honestly, it IS a very courageous post and you’re amazing for talking about it. <3

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