{On a Personal Note} Liza Vents About Entitlement

Posted April 16, 2017 by Liza in Personal / 1 Comment

Hi there gorgeous readers! I wanted today to call your attention to something that has been in my mind for a while.  First, because of things that I’ve observed lately and second, because of things going on at home.

An Epidemic?

I know that we all laugh with the shows and stand up about millennials or even younger generations.  It seems like now kids are born with a technology gene and know how to use all sort of gadgets from a very short age.  But it also seems like they rely so much in this technology that there is no room for anything else.

They barely pay attention to their surroundings, social media is a BIG part of their life and their smart devices are a life line.  They text even when sitting next to each other.  Some of them lack in social skills and common sense even…

Good manners are never out of style.  Saying excuse me, sorry, thank you is still expected.  Opening a door, picking something from the floor for someone, helping people is a good thing.  Where are the manners?

Do these sound familiar?

“But so-and-so has a new iPhone, and Xbox and Playstation”

“Why do I have to do that, you’re just sitting there”

“But so-and-so can do whatever he/she wants”

I don’t intent to preach at you or pretend that I’m a perfect mother or that my kids are the best.  It’s not that kind of post.  But I don’t feel like we, as parents, need to cater to our children’s whims.  Nor do they need every expensive gadget or shoes to be happy. Rather, we should provide a loving, caring, safe environment that foster learning, happiness and independence.  We need to prepare them for the time when they leave us. To be fathers, mothers, workers, professionals and valuable members of society.

Is It All Our Fault?

I think in some ways it is.  We laugh at what our children do and say, even when it’s a bit disrespectful.  We constantly tell them that they are perfect, beautiful, and they can be whatever they want in life.  Which is true, with the caveat that they work hard for it. Nothing in life that’s worthwhile is easy.

Are we creating a generation of people that feel entitled to everything.  That’s not realistic.  Most of us want to provide a good life and a better life than the one we lived to our children.  But in doing so, we need to make sure they understand that life is hard, we need to allow them to make decisions, to ask for advice, to work hard for what they want, to be kind, polite, and support them when they fail or when they need us.

Our Way

In our family we highly value education, so we foster an environment that promotes it.  We encourage our kids to do their homework and study hard. They are rewarded when they do good in school with privileges.  The opposite is also true, when they don’t do well, privileges are taken away.

We also don’t pay them an allowance, but they earn “work money” for assigned tasks around the house.  They mow the lawn, they do their own laundry, walk, feed and bathe the dogs, and so on.   When they want to buy something specific, they save for it and they ask for extra work that can be done.  I’m not saying is a perfect system, but it works for us and I feel so happy when teachers and other adults tell us how polite, helpful and well behave our boys are. 

 

What do you think?  What is your way?  If you are a parent, how do you mitigate what TV, technology and society does to your children?  If you are a millennial, do feel that your parents give you enough responsibility?  

 

Liza
Liza

Liza

I'm an avid reader (since I learned to read at age four) and a book blogger (since May, 2011).I read mostly YA, but I also read romance, new adult and some middle grade.

Born in Puerto Rico, hola :), military wife for 22-years, and mother of three boys.I work full time doing something else that I love (sadly I don't get paid for reading!)
Liza

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One response to “{On a Personal Note} Liza Vents About Entitlement

  1. I had more than a handful of students tell me today that over their three-day weekend they didn’t leave their room from their gaming system or phone except to eat and go to the bathroom. And their parents are A-OK with that. All these people who can’t even listen and follow their maps directions, and swerving into an exit or entrance to the highway and nearly hitting other cars instead of going to the next one and turning around or getting on. THANK YOU for saying parents should not cater to their child’s whims. Come teach a seminar in my school district. Make a video. Teachers will be the first to make it go viral. Please. 95% or more of my parents this year do not hold their students accountable – even for their academic work. Absent for a week? Three weeks later they want to know why their kid is failing. Everyone signs district handbook policies at the beginning of each school year acknowledging the late work and make up policies and time limits. Our district even had a clause about how frequently parents and students are required to check grades (which is at least once a week). My students are so entitled. This culture and not just acceptance, but promotion by parents, is why I am leaving the teaching field. When I have to call and explain why a student is getting a classroom-level disciplinary measure because they jerked a pencil out of another student’s hand and snapped it in half on purpose because they “thought” that kid took their pencil and I am told that signing a level “is an excessive measure” (this year) or like last year when a student stole something from me and the mother started screaming at me that she “didn’t like the words I was using” about stealing and theft is the day I have to leave the education profession. And I am. This year my district has been ALL about “making real world connections” and when I speak to students who are refusing to follow directives (which is a referral) and I make the connection that in 4 years they will be driving and would they do the same thing to a police officer if they get pulled over and they say “Yes, I would refuse to follow their directions”…. I can’t. I just can’t. I can’t be a part of that. I can’t keep myself from saying something one day that little Johnny is going to run home sniveling to mommy about. I have to leave. Teaching today is nothing more than a glorified babysitter when the same jerks from 2nd grade are allowed to be jerks every year and receive no real consequences and can take away from the education of 25 other students. EVERY DAY. When their parents pretend like they are trying to help be part of the solution with their child and do nothing but trash and demean their child’s teachers, which perpetuates and reinforces the beliefs and behaviors of their students. I just can’t.

    All this Facebook Live crap needs to go away. There have been at least two individuals kill themselves with a firearm while on it. (That’s a whole different conversation – quit pretending that putting a gun to your head is funny or entertaining. I’ve seen a gun put to my father’s head, my aunt saw the carnage of her son’s suicide by shotgun – It is NOT entertaining..perhaps I should write a post about that.)

    Your system with your kids is GREAT. That’s what it should be like. What so many parents forget about is not just to prepare them for the time when they leave us, but prepare them for a time when we leave them at the end of our lives. If we cannot prepare them to go out in the world and fully function on their own without momma or daddy fixing everything for them all the time or taking care of things, what will happen when that unfortunate day comes?

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