{Bieke Reviews} Acne, Asthma & other Signs You Might Be Half Dragon by Rena Rocford

Posted December 15, 2015 by Bee in Reviews / 6 Comments

{Bieke Reviews} Acne, Asthma & other Signs You Might Be Half Dragon by Rena Rocford

Acne, Asthma, And Other Signs You Might Be Half Dragon

by Rena Rocford
Published on November 23rd 2015
by Curiosity Quills Press
Genres: Fantasy
Format: eBook
Source: Netgalley
Amazon | Goodreads

Also by this author: Acne, Asthma, and Other Signs You Might Be Half Dragon

Allyson fights acne, not trolls. As an inhaler-carrying member of the asthma society, she just wants to meet the father who turned her mother into a paranoid, move-across-the-nation freak. Now she’s trying to fit in at yet another school, but for the first time in her life, she has a best friend, Beth. When Allyson accidentally spits fire at kidnappers in the mall, she realizes why her father isn’t in the picture: she’s half dragon. Her acne? Emerging scales. Her asthma? The side effects of her dragon’s fire breath. Instead of freaking out, unflappable Beth reveals her own troll heritage and explains how things work with the supernatural creatures hiding within the modern world of smartphones and skyscrapers.

When trolls kidnap a unicorn, Beth gets blamed. Allyson is determined to prove Beth’s innocence and keep her friend off the unicorn chopping block. When they start looking for the kidnappers, they get a call from the last person they expect: Allyson’s father. He tries to warn them off, but he’s been put under a spell by the kidnappers to keep the victims from escaping. Nothing short of death can stop him. Now Allyson must choose between killing the father she’s always dreamed of, or letting her best friend die for a crime she didn’t commit.

I received this book for free from the publisher or author in exchange for an honest review.
This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.

I promised myself a while ago to not DNF books that much anymore because negative reviews are just part of the life of a book blogger. (That and they can be kind of fun…) But I can’t continue this book. I don’t want to read it anymore and I don’t want to spend my time on it while I could be reading something else, something better. But I have a list of reasons! And none of these are spoilers since it’s all in the first two chapters. SIGH.

  • Everything happens too fast. I think. We get so much info in chapter 1 without getting any at all. What I mean with that is that the MC finds out what she is & what her best friend is, she breaths fire without any real build-up to it and is attacked by people wanting to kill her. And all that while I still don’t know WHO she is as a character. All I found out in the first two chapters was that she’s she’s vain and stupid and dumb and half dragon. (I’ll come back to that later.) There is zero build up here. None, zilch, nada. I want to find out more who the MC is before the big reveals come. I want to connect with her first. Now I’m left with an MC whose name I don’t remember.
  • The writing is incredibly meh. I didn’t care for it, as you might have noticed earlier. I know I only read the first two chapters, but I expect a little more development in my characters and a little world building. You know, set up the story so I can get swept away and fall in love with it. Nope, didn’t get that.
  • I got the alarming info that unicorns are jerks and sparkle like vampires. SAY WHAT? First off, unicorns aren’t jerks. They’re magical, beautiful beings. And second, VAMPIRES DO NOT SPARKLE. Also, I find the notion that one can be half troll or half unicorn just plain stupid. Sorry, but I just don’t buy that.
  • The MC is insufferable. I don’t know that much about who she is, more what she is, but that’s enough. She’s vain and stupid. Vain because acne is a disgrace to her so she smears a ton of make-up on her face every day to hide it. YEAH I’M SURE THAT’S GOOD FOR YOUR SKIN AND WILL HELP WITH THE ACNE. She also says that writing with chalk on a chalkboard in school equals the Stone Age, which… whut? Oh and you’d think YAY DIVERSITY upon hearing that she’s half Irish & half Japanese but NOPE because she’s, in her words, a reject from a Geisha convention. So we’re not celebrating diversity here, people, move along!
  • What I expected to get from this book was a fantastical adventure with some humor. Honestly, my expectations weren’t that high! Look at that title and that way-too-gorgeous cover and tell me you wouldn’t expect the same thing. It’s misleading and maybe this is harsh, but this book doesn’t seem like it deserves a cover that pretty. All I thought while reading it until I gave up was “What the flying flipping fudge is this?” GAH.

So yeah, suffice to say this was disappointing. And none of this is a spoiler to me since it’s all in the first 12%. For those of you that wanted to read this, don’t. Or do, maybe you like it? I don’t know. It’s up to you, really.


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6 responses to “{Bieke Reviews} Acne, Asthma & other Signs You Might Be Half Dragon by Rena Rocford

  1. Okay but this was really funny to read. XD Hehe. Half unicorn?! Like how does that work??! Is one a centaur then or something, hehe. OMG I AM DISAPPOINTED THOUGH because I do so love dragons and want to read more and I did add this one because the title sounded so quirky. But insufferable MCs and wild pacing? Yeah, noooooooo.

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